Finding Nemo

I once believed that what the mind can conceive the body can achieve and that whatever you put into the universal consciousness, the universe will conspire to make things happen for you... and I still do.

A couple of weeks ago an officemate suggested that we’ll go island hopping for our summer outing. Hmmm… island hopping??? A special thought came to mind…

I remember that first time I went on an island hopping with some people from work. I had some inhibitions at first, for one I do not know how to swim. Secondly, I was not sold out with the safety features of the bangka and the people running them. And only half of the people on the bangka can swim and two of them are kids… gosh who would save me then? Well I thought maybe, BRIAN can!

Brian was a peace corps volunteer assigned in Bohol and a friend of my boss... and get this—his favorite movie at that time was Finding Nemo (one of the few things that I’ll never forget about him. (mushy meter: 4/10).

My boss tried to play cupid by telling me a day before the scheduled whale watching, that she’s going to introduce me to a peace corps volunteer. She even assured me that I will like him. I was 24 then and I just broke up with my boyfriend. I didn’t take her seriously because maybe she was just teasing me. My boss was around 60 years old and is an NBSB (no-boyfriend-since-birth). So I was wondering why she’s concerned with my love life.

I didn’t have a lot of expectations as to how that day would turn out. A number of the people that my boss invited were her personal friends and relatives. So, I was a bit out of place. But not until I was introduced to Brian. Haven’t I told you that I am always fond of Caucasian guys? I’m not talking about racial superiority here, it is just a matter of personal preference. Maybe I got it from watching Disney films. And Brian is an epitome of an American boy I have in my mind. Well, he looked like a GI with that shaven head but in my standard he was the Man. I was thinking how on earth did we end up riding on the same boat with this cute guy. My boss was right, I surely like him and I’m sure it was not only me who drooled over him lol. It was a discombobulating experience for me though. I was a bit naïve and I’ve just lost a million brain cells the moment I shook his hand. Brian was down-to-earth and appeared to be a sensible guy. We had a few conversations and all I can muster is “okay” and some unimportant comments. What am I doing? I never got his family name and number either. I looked so awkward and it seemed like I left my common sense at the pier lol. Well, I don’t play around and I don’t play games… I mean flirting is not my thing. I sincerely admire the guy for his sensibilities and his openness. I can have a non-stop conversation with him given that I have regained my common sense and keep my brain cells intact. Unfortunately, the day ended without me saying goodbye. My officemate and I immediately left for Cebu that night. I really thought that the group will have a dinner together before taking off but too bad, the conversation I had with Brian at the port will be my last…

I never had a chance to see him again. I resigned from my work because I prefer to work in a school setting. My former boss told me that Brian dropped by her office weeks after I resigned. Holy week of 2005, my friends and I visited my former boss in Albur, Bohol and I was told that Brian spent a day at my former boss’ house a day before we got there. I don’t know why my former boss kept on mentioning Brian whenever I came to visit her, I never told her that I like him in the first place… maybe I was so obvious I never got a chance to see him because he was in Tagbilaran and we were leaving that very afternoon.

I think Brian ended his service as a PCV last 2005 if I’m not mistaken. It’s been 5 years and the memory of that one fine day with him still lingers… how mushy lol (mushy meter: 11/10). My apologies… but hey it’s my blog, you always have a choice!

There’s always something romantic about summer and I love talking about it. Anyway, I saw a movie with Christina Applegate and Cameron Diaz on it, ahmmmI forgot the title. In the movie Diaz tries to track a man whom she thinks she has a special connection with even just after a short encounter in the bar. The man was about to get married when Diaz and Applegate reached him. For a good climax, the man and the bride both backed out. Diaz didn’t see the outcome of the wedding and ended up grieving. Then the guy saw Diaz’ address on the customer logbook and tracked her and they live happily ever after. Gosh, isn’t that great!

But my story is not meant for a romantic Hollywood ending. I was trying to fathom my feelings over this guy. I mean there are so many fishes in the ocean, why stick with this Finding Nemo-loving guy. Maybe Nemo is the fish for me. But reality check guys, I dunno which ocean Nemo is right now. And if by chance I see him again, I really don’t know how to begin. What would I say to him? Perhaps, goodbye…And would he still remember me? Nothing could have prepared me for such encounter and I knew that I totally blew my only chance with a wonderful person. It was completely a one-sided affection and I’m aware of that. Now that I’m writing about this, I believe I’m about to get over it.

Since it is summer again, I can’t help but reminisce the experience. I always have that strange things going around every time I have this obsession over someone or something. I can’t explain it concretely but I know it’s been going on occasionally. When I’m overwhelmed with the thought of a certain person, I seem to have that selective over-awareness of things related to that person. The more I get rid of the thoughts of the person, the more I see that person in my conscious stream of thoughts. One time I had a misunderstanding with a special someone and as I was trying to focus on my job in the recruitment office, it appeared that a number of application papers that I’ve browsed through have similar names/the same sounding names with that of the person I had issues with. It was as if I’ve been played upon by some weird coincidences. For the past two weeks, I have been fazed with this strange happening again. The Brians have been circling my head lately… one of the contestants in Jeopardy is Brian; a character in Nicholas Sparks’ novel ,which I read last week, is named Brian; a victim in last week’s episode of CSI is Brian… and a number of Brians more… but they are not the Brian I am looking for. I really dunno where he is right now. Maybe he got married, with kids or perhaps living a good life somewhere in this universe.

Brian, without him knowing it, had taken my breath away… lol hmm sounds familiar (mushy meter: oops it’s broken! Doink!). With his simple gesture of kindness, he didn’t know he made me feel so special. So to Brian --I wish you well in your career as a teacher (no way of knowing actually if he’s in the academe) and with your love life as well. Indeed, that was a summer to remember… Time to wake up from that daydream and get back to work! lol.

Wait! I haven’t told you how the island hopping and the whale watching turned out. Well, it was really an auspicious day! We visited the islands of Balicasag and Pamilacan. They were snorkeling, feeding the fish, fishing (though unsuccessful) and I was left on the boat thinking why I was there… duh! I can’t swim alright, doink!Well I can only wade throug shallow waters, like in kiddy pool lol. After hours of relentlessly searching for the elusive whales in the vast open sea, we finally spotted a family of whales later in the afternoon. I dunno how the whales behaved in the wild but I believed one of them tried to rock the boat. Was it aggression or just mere play? We can never tell but we thanked them for showing up. There was a mother whale and a baby whale and one dolphin even came to play. Such a wonderful flipper! Overall, it was an experience of a lifetime. My first island hopping and my first time to actually see the whales in their natural habitat. What an awesome creature! Thank God for all of them.

photos taken during my 2nd island hopping; our first stop--Pandanon Island, Bohol

ki.............nalamian

Halo-halo @ ice castle with friends

This would be the best summer treat ever! As in super init-breaker gyud neh siya. As low as 10 pesos one can enjoy this tropical combo of sweets like kaong, nata de coco, mongo, ube, nangka, leche flan, banana ug uban pa plus shaved ice. Bisan naay milk trip gihapon nako neh siya. If social kaayo ang refreshment parlor, you can choose whatever flavor sa ice cream na pang-toppings. Medyo mahal 2x pud ni if naay ice cream...I don't have a favorite flavor but lately I prefer strawberry.

My favorite halo-haloan is that of melton's kay ang shaved ice mura gyud siya lasa buko water. Sa San Isidro, Talisay City sa Victoria's affordable ra kaayo but payts ra kaayo ang lami. Sa Cool Savers pang barkada trip gyud siya. Super affordable and the music was so loud... maka constipate lol..but we specially requested to have a more palatable music for our eat-together. Of course, mas lami ipares ang halo-halo with siomai sa tisa, pancit canton, tempura, squid ball, ug uban pang matang sa street food ug junk food. Don't forget to detoxify ha kay murag kuyaw neh. But halo-halo is one healthy treat for everyone!


siomai, pancit canton, puso & a stone-age cellphone... ang halo-halo i-serve later ok

Happy birthday diay Pareng Jomar!!! Thank you for letting us "eat your house" bwahahaha... Salamat btaw Jom, patambok na ha!



sizzling dinner for 2.. somewhere in the uptown area

Dili man ko expert sa kaon pero expert ko mukaon... does that make sense? If you're looking for a good eat in the uptown area, ayaw kabalaka for there are a number of small cafeterias sa ngilid-ngilid. Pero in fairness naa na pud bya social nga cafeteria. Barato pa ug lamian ra pud. Kinahanglan lang lig-on ka ug tinai if ever you go into extreme like kung magpungko-pungko lang ka diha. One time, gi-Cali moments gyud ko pero ingon sila sa maanad lang daw. Honestly, dili ko ka-stand ug kaon ug pungko2x kay siguro mo-matter gyud sa ako ang baho sa food ug sa kan-anan. Dili pud intawon ko richness pero bisan utan or fish paksiw ra intawon ang luto ni mama pero limpyo man pud ang baho ug lami. I hate langsa na baho. Pero if it's a matter of gusla and pasmo as in maahat na lang gyud ko kaon labi na if layo-layo ka gamay sa civilization ug kanang if i'm on the red. Pero if you want to pay for the ambiance plus 12% vat na hala makapili ra gyud ka sa mga kasosyalan diha nga kan-anan. A couple of years ago, my F4 friends had this food trip kada pay day wherein amo gi-survey ang mga restaurants diri Cebu. Akong favorite siguro kay katong duha ka Thai restaurants kay I begin to appreciate spicy foods... as in mukaon na gud ko sili karon kay before I abhor gyud anything with chili on it. Anyway, medyo dili man kaayo siya fine dining but nice ra pud ang tiles sa places na amo nakan-an, i mean the ambiance matters gyud. Ingon btaw Erap, "who ordered ambiance", kay grabe kadako sa ilang bill lol.

silog and margarita... 3 for the road!.. & a pitcher for the brokenhearted lol

Usa ra man unta ka shot glass ang gihatag but we prefer a drink-and-run session mao nagtagsa mi para paspas. Honestly guys, naa pa mi work the next day. As in, we just had a chill out kay stressful kaayo among week. One friend was about to take the board exam and another friend just broke up with a long-term bf (update: ok na sila again)... so inom dayun! Don't worry, we don't drive.

Dog Affairs... in memoriam

I wrote this out of the blue...
March 19, 2009
10:27 pm
Watching Jamie’s Italian Escape on Lifestyle Network… surfing to SNN

My siblings and I grew up with dogs in the house. The memories with all the dogs that graced our household are still very vivid. Unfortunately raising dogs and having them around and suddenly losing them seem to be a traumatic experience for me. Of course there were happy moments especially when there are new puppies. Just like any expectant mothers, my siblings and I were always excited for the birth of the puppies. We made guesses as to the number of puppies. First thing in the morning, we made a point to check on Queenie and we were always vigilant of any cute sounds/shrill cries.

Well, Queenie was our first dog ever. She was offered to us as a gift but the Chinese owner asked for 25 cents because of the belief that it is not a good practice to give something away for no reason. As long as there’s a monetary equivalent for an item, then it is a done deal. At an early age I don’t know anything about dog breeds, but we were told that Queenie was a crossbreed – a product of an illicit affair between an “askal” (stray dog) and a foreign breed (I’m not sure really, we were just told). The original owner had a lot of dogs already and even though we were not prepared for a dog in the house nonetheless my parents approved of it. Not for long, we noticed some male species paying a visit at the crack of dawn or past midnight. It was kinda funny because my parents acted like a bothered parent of a teenager every time a guy dog came to mate. Well, I knew they were worried if there will be more dogs in the house. They were kinda disappointed at first when they found out that Queenie is a she. They just wanted a “bantay” (guard dog) to scare those “kawatan” (thieves) from doing their monkey business within the compound. Anyway no return-no exchange, so we were in it completely.

And so Queenie gave birth to healthy puppies and we all gave them celestial names. But when they started to grow bigger and their pooh-pooh seemed to resemble that of the friendly humans, that’s when our parents decided to give them away. At least they consulted us when we asked for Sun and Pluto to remain. Sun and Pluto were both white while the others are of different color scheme. I assumed that a number of guy dogs were hitting on our Queenie. Sun was the biggest of the puppies while Pluto was the youngest puppy and the smallest too. We were really serious when it comes to naming them, we even used references for this purpose—kids! Actually it was my idea hehehe. That time Pluto was still a planet- the smallest planet as taught in school… too bad he got demoted. The funniest name that I gave to one of our puppies was “adis-adis” (drug addict) because it was very thin, it had scabies (preferred to sleep on the ground/under our car), was Xolo-looking, and was super moody.

Moving on, more puppies are born and our house almost smelled like a public toilet. Queenie appeared to have post-partum syndrome (does this apply to dogs?), and easily got irritated. She has bitten a number of people even those she knew. Since we lived in a compound, a number of households freely moved in and out. We received complaints and my parents feared that it might cause us a lot of trouble keeping Queenie.

And so the verdict of the people…(it was not a good one… cringed.)

Earlier I mentioned about having a traumatic experience with dogs. I always have a positive experience with dogs. In Negros Occidental, where we mostly spent our vacation as kids, my tatay (uncle) owned a very friendly dog that I even thought of it as another kid in our humble “payag’ (nipa hut/ house on stilts). Tatay Liit even had this sort of superstitious belief that if you spit on the dog’s mouth (he opened the dog’s mouth and spit on it letting the dog savor the taste of his saliva… gross!), you will surely gain the dog’s trust and loyalty. He often did that spitting thing, and I wondered why he kept on doing it. Maybe there’s a prescription period for that saliva powers to work. I also remember him dancing with the dog (dog standing on hind feet and doing that waltz thing) and strolling down the hill with it. From there, I knew then that a dog is a friendly companion.

But, sadly I came to know also that a dog can be that dispensable. One of my lola’s dogs was poisoned for no apparent reason. Nobody knew who did it (there were believed to be rebels in the area and oftentimes dogs made their presence known when they passed by). As a little girl exposed to the life in the province, there were things that I can hardly understand like cruelty to animals. I saw how my tatay took care of his dog yet I witnessed a dog being dragged uphill and beaten so badly. Until now I will never forget the sight of it. A sound of a helpless dog resounded among the coconut trees down the hill. I followed the sound and from the payag I saw the hapless dog, tied on a rope leash, repetitively whipped, and dragged uphill to our neighbor’s house a few meters away. I tried to take a peek between the bamboo slats and there it was – hanged on a sinegwelas tree and smoked to death. I had no way of surmising what had just happened. What was so creepy was that that neighbor of ours even shared what they had made out of the victim. We were tricked into thinking that it was goat’s meat but I knew all the time what it was. I was forced to taste that slimy meat and as a child taught to follow the orders of the elderly everything seemed ambivalent. That was the late 80’s… animal rights was never in the vocabulary of the townspeople.

Dogs and cats being killed for their meat is not an uncommon occurrence even in the urban areas. With a number of stray dogs and cats in the barangay (smallest unit of government), targeting them as sumsuman (a preferred pairings for beer and cheap alcoholic beverage) comes easy. One of our cats was stolen from us probably sold to medical students or to some filthy business people who used cat’s meat as a cheaper alternative for their siopao filling. For quite some time, I didn’t eat siopao especially at the height of that controversy. Istambays (bystanders, unproductive people!!) are the usual culprit. If an owner wants to get rid of a dog, there are always people who are willing to do it and they even offer an amount just to have their sumsuman for their drinking session. Talking about supply and demand… how frustrating. When you are a kid in an adult world, your voice is useless. God knows how I negotiated and bargained just to save the life of one of our dogs. But then the deal was done, I never cried so hard in my life but I did when they ruthlessly sentenced S.I. to death. I went to the place to plea for the last time but they just found it very childish and ridiculous. From then on, I never go out of the neighborhood. I don’t trust any of them. The only place I knew then was school and home. And I also blame myself for being a voiceless girl. So what if my dogs acted like dogs? Of course they bite, but then who said that every dog that bites deserves a death sentence! Our dogs were even vaccinated. It was really useless at that time to argue with drunkards and drug users. Sooner or later any of the dogs even those under your care shall fall victim of these predators. One needs to keep an eye on his dogs all the time for he won’t know when those bastards would sneak in.

my sis & I w/ 1 of our puppies Pluto; circa 1990's

My family left that place of our childhood seven years ago. I wonder why it took us that long to withstand that kind of ruthless environment. After the death of Sun due to illness, we never take in another dog. Every family dog that died never missed a tear from me. Having dogs in the house taught me how to be responsible. They taught me how to care…We gave Pluto to a family friend – a childless couple-- and we heard that she was well taken cared of. A number of our dogs ended up in good hands. I always love dogs and I appreciate those who genuinely care for them. I really don’t know if we will have another dog again in the house. It was really a bittersweet experience for me….

black as a saturday

Today is Black Saturday and finally I decided to be a blogger. No particular reason, it's just that people in the house left for a road trip to a coastal town south of Cebu, Philippines. It's Holy Week in Pinas but most of the people hit the beaches while a number also observe the activities of the Catholic church. I opted to stay at home and rather use this long vacation emptying my mind and maybe starting a blog is a better sublimation. Besides I have the whole summer for all those road trips and beach outings. I was out with friends on the beach just last week and today I'm gonna enjoy the silence - I know this won't last that long. My nieces will soon be barging in shouting octaves competing with the blaring sounds of the tv... I miss them already.