I once believed that what the mind can conceive the body can achieve and that whatever you put into the universal consciousness, the universe will conspire to make things happen for you... and I still do.
A couple of weeks ago an officemate suggested that we’ll go island hopping for our summer outing. Hmmm… island hopping??? A special thought came to mind…
I remember that first time I went on an island hopping with some people from work. I had some inhibitions at first, for one I do not know how to swim. Secondly, I was not sold out with the safety features of the bangka and the people running them. And only half of the people on the bangka can swim and two of them are kids… gosh who would save me then? Well I thought maybe, BRIAN can!
Brian was a peace corps volunteer assigned in Bohol and a friend of my boss... and get this—his favorite movie at that time was Finding Nemo (one of the few things that I’ll never forget about him. (mushy meter: 4/10).
My boss tried to play cupid by telling me a day before the scheduled whale watching, that she’s going to introduce me to a peace corps volunteer. She even assured me that I will like him. I was 24 then and I just broke up with my boyfriend. I didn’t take her seriously because maybe she was just teasing me. My boss was around 60 years old and is an NBSB (no-boyfriend-since-birth). So I was wondering why she’s concerned with my love life.
I didn’t have a lot of expectations as to how that day would turn out. A number of the people that my boss invited were her personal friends and relatives. So, I was a bit out of place. But not until I was introduced to Brian. Haven’t I told you that I am always fond of Caucasian guys? I’m not talking about racial superiority here, it is just a matter of personal preference. Maybe I got it from watching Disney films. And Brian is an epitome of an American boy I have in my mind. Well, he looked like a GI with that shaven head but in my standard he was the Man. I was thinking how on earth did we end up riding on the same boat with this cute guy. My boss was right, I surely like him and I’m sure it was not only me who drooled over him lol. It was a discombobulating experience for me though. I was a bit naïve and I’ve just lost a million brain cells the moment I shook his hand. Brian was down-to-earth and appeared to be a sensible guy. We had a few conversations and all I can muster is “okay” and some unimportant comments. What am I doing? I never got his family name and number either. I looked so awkward and it seemed like I left my common sense at the pier lol. Well, I don’t play around and I don’t play games… I mean flirting is not my thing. I sincerely admire the guy for his sensibilities and his openness. I can have a non-stop conversation with him given that I have regained my common sense and keep my brain cells intact. Unfortunately, the day ended without me saying goodbye. My officemate and I immediately left for Cebu that night. I really thought that the group will have a dinner together before taking off but too bad, the conversation I had with Brian at the port will be my last…
I never had a chance to see him again. I resigned from my work because I prefer to work in a school setting. My former boss told me that Brian dropped by her office weeks after I resigned. Holy week of 2005, my friends and I visited my former boss in Albur, Bohol and I was told that Brian spent a day at my former boss’ house a day before we got there. I don’t know why my former boss kept on mentioning Brian whenever I came to visit her, I never told her that I like him in the first place… maybe I was so obvious I never got a chance to see him because he was in Tagbilaran and we were leaving that very afternoon.
I think Brian ended his service as a PCV last 2005 if I’m not mistaken. It’s been 5 years and the memory of that one fine day with him still lingers… how mushy lol (mushy meter: 11/10). My apologies… but hey it’s my blog, you always have a choice!
There’s always something romantic about summer and I love talking about it. Anyway, I saw a movie with Christina Applegate and Cameron Diaz on it, ahmmmI forgot the title. In the movie Diaz tries to track a man whom she thinks she has a special connection with even just after a short encounter in the bar. The man was about to get married when Diaz and Applegate reached him. For a good climax, the man and the bride both backed out. Diaz didn’t see the outcome of the wedding and ended up grieving. Then the guy saw Diaz’ address on the customer logbook and tracked her and they live happily ever after. Gosh, isn’t that great!
But my story is not meant for a romantic Hollywood ending. I was trying to fathom my feelings over this guy. I mean there are so many fishes in the ocean, why stick with this Finding Nemo-loving guy. Maybe Nemo is the fish for me. But reality check guys, I dunno which ocean Nemo is right now. And if by chance I see him again, I really don’t know how to begin. What would I say to him? Perhaps, goodbye…And would he still remember me? Nothing could have prepared me for such encounter and I knew that I totally blew my only chance with a wonderful person. It was completely a one-sided affection and I’m aware of that. Now that I’m writing about this, I believe I’m about to get over it.
Since it is summer again, I can’t help but reminisce the experience. I always have that strange things going around every time I have this obsession over someone or something. I can’t explain it concretely but I know it’s been going on occasionally. When I’m overwhelmed with the thought of a certain person, I seem to have that selective over-awareness of things related to that person. The more I get rid of the thoughts of the person, the more I see that person in my conscious stream of thoughts. One time I had a misunderstanding with a special someone and as I was trying to focus on my job in the recruitment office, it appeared that a number of application papers that I’ve browsed through have similar names/the same sounding names with that of the person I had issues with. It was as if I’ve been played upon by some weird coincidences. For the past two weeks, I have been fazed with this strange happening again. The Brians have been circling my head lately… one of the contestants in Jeopardy is Brian; a character in Nicholas Sparks’ novel ,which I read last week, is named Brian; a victim in last week’s episode of CSI is Brian… and a number of Brians more… but they are not the Brian I am looking for. I really dunno where he is right now. Maybe he got married, with kids or perhaps living a good life somewhere in this universe.
Brian, without him knowing it, had taken my breath away… lol hmm sounds familiar (mushy meter: oops it’s broken! Doink!). With his simple gesture of kindness, he didn’t know he made me feel so special. So to Brian --I wish you well in your career as a teacher (no way of knowing actually if he’s in the academe) and with your love life as well. Indeed, that was a summer to remember… Time to wake up from that daydream and get back to work! lol.
Wait! I haven’t told you how the island hopping and the whale watching turned out. Well, it was really an auspicious day! We visited the islands of Balicasag and Pamilacan. They were snorkeling, feeding the fish, fishing (though unsuccessful) and I was left on the boat thinking why I was there… duh! I can’t swim alright, doink!Well I can only wade throug shallow waters, like in kiddy pool lol. After hours of relentlessly searching for the elusive whales in the vast open sea, we finally spotted a family of whales later in the afternoon. I dunno how the whales behaved in the wild but I believed one of them tried to rock the boat. Was it aggression or just mere play? We can never tell but we thanked them for showing up. There was a mother whale and a baby whale and one dolphin even came to play. Such a wonderful flipper! Overall, it was an experience of a lifetime. My first island hopping and my first time to actually see the whales in their natural habitat. What an awesome creature! Thank God for all of them.
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